Time Traveller makes shocking revelations about COVID-19 and COVID-22 in light of the 2032 catastrophe, while engaging in a love affair with a 19th century composer
Greetings, Time Traveller! It has been, again, ten months since we last spoke! Or has it?
I believe we met in September… oh, you mean, as a Time Traveller. Of course. I don’t know how long it’s been since we last spoke.
Right, so the cure for COVID-19? When is that happening?
COVID-19? Oh, yes. Haha! Excuse me. yes, there will be a vaccine.
Why did you laugh?
I didn’t laugh.
You laughed, you did.
It’s the cigarettes. I’m trying to quit.
You know, we never actually talked about it, the fact that you, as a Time Traveller, could start a plague from another time in our present. Or spread a virus from our present in the past. Or the future. Really, it’s very dangerous nowadays, for you to time travel. Especially to the past!
Haha! Yes. Of course, I take precautions.
Why are you laughing? What? What is it?
Oh, no, I just remembered something.
From the future?
So the vaccine?
What? That’s a long time from now.
It’ll fly by. Believe me.
You’re being very mysterious and vague about our near future. It’s unsettling at a time like this.
I can understand that. So, let me reassure you: it’s all going to be alright. Truly. It’s very far from a 2032 scenario.
Will you tell us what was supposed to happen in 2032?
Never. Not in a million years, literally.
How can a million years be literal?
Well, it’s complex, but, of course –
Just, will there be COVID-21? COVID-22?
Hey, how would you like to know where I went last week?
To the set where they recorded The Cure’s video for “Friday I’m In Love”. Oh, it was so –
That’s not the time for your 80’s-music-themed-hedonism!
I pretended to be the drinks and snacks girl, right? So, I’m bringing the drinks, it’s about 2 P.M, they started at 9 A.M, can you believe it? It took about seven hours to complete this video!
Will the people I care for die in 2021? In 2023?
And Simon Gallup, right? Right? Wow, he’s gorgeous. So, I was giving him his cup of coffee, right? And he says, “hey, hey, come here”. And I said, “what is it?” And he said, “can I have extra sugar?” Can you believe it? There was more than a teaspoon already in it! And I said to him, “hey, did you taste it? It must be quite sweet already”. And he said, without tasting it, right? He said, “do you know what? I think it is sweet actually”. Oh, my! Can you believe it?!
And then what happened?
I gave Robert his tea… and that was it, basically.
Ugh. I honestly used to think the female aspect of Time Traveller was more to the point about things.
Right. Alright. what do you want to know? will we survive the virus? Yes. Will it evolve and mutate until we find a vaccine? Yes. Has the world changed permanently after the pandemic? Well, I think that’s a ridiculous question, to say the least. Why didn’t you ask me if the world changes permanently after the fire in Australia? Why didn’t you ask if the world changes permanently due to one giant iceberg melting in Antarctica? Why didn’t you ask about November 20? You see, from a Time Traveller standpoint –
Yeah, with the sharks, remember?
It’s July now. It’s July 20.
Oh. bullocks. Haha! It was a joke! Haha! Yes, so, from a Time Traveller standpoint, believe me, COVID-22 is nothing. And when I say it’s nothing, what I mean to say is that it’s a part of something much, much bigger.
Right. Alright. So did you or did you not hook up with Simon Gallup?
I didn’t. I’m not a groupie, right? it was just nice to be around him. I did, though, engage in a love affair with a famous musician of the past. I’m not quite sure I wish to discuss this.
So until the vaccine is found, in 2022, what will our everyday lives be like?
Right, so you know my male aspect travelled to the USSR, to see the rise of the first wave of Russian dissident jazz, right?
So, early 20th century Russian dissident jazz is quite great, no doubt about it, but, a few months ago I had the desire to travel further, further in time. To late 19th century Russia. Oh, I wanted to hear the premiere of the Fantasy Overture of Tchaikovsky’s Romeo and Juliet!
You’re not serious.
Hey, you know, I’m getting quite tired of people rolling their eyes over classical music. So what? So it’s longer? Heavier? More complex? What’s the problem with that?
Right, but Tchaikovsky? That’s totally mainstream.
Is it though? That’s like saying The Smiths’ music is obsolete –
Are you comparing –
I’m not –
That’s not –
To The Smiths?
No. I’m just saying, he had an impact on music as much as COVID-19 had on the economy, alright?
Yes. Exactly. So, anyway, I was pretending to be the beverage girl in the lounge, and Peter, I mean, Pyotr, he was so nervous, it was near impossible grabbing his attention. So I accidently spilled a drink… on his shoes, of course. I made sure it wouldn’t go on in his suit or something, I wouldn’t want to ruin his suit on his premiere. Plus, it could have changed history in some ways we can’t even imagine, right?
So he said to me, ah, he said to me things in Russian, and I said, “pardon?” And then we spoke French, and he was… oh, he was dream like. And very misogynist, mind you, but with just enough charm to make it understandable for a 19th century man. Just like you’re not certain if you should say something when your grandfather makes a rather racist remark, right? Cos you know he’s a good man after all?
Seriously, you have to give us something.
Well, he had an uncanny passion for elbows.
Pyotr, what do you mean who? Are you listening?
I just realized.
You’ve known about the pandemic for years. You’ve been traveling to 2022 for years now. You… you knew. And you didn’t do anything!
Alright, listen, it’s very, very complex, alright? I’ll tell you that though, and you can make what you want of it, right? When I went to 2022 in the beginning of 2018, there was nothing.
What do you mean nothing?!
There was never a pandemic. When I came back to 2022 in, I think it was April, April 2018, there it was. And I have –
So go back and figure it out!
And I have no intention of going back to 2018 to sort it out, alright?
Wait. In April 2018 you told The Sewers the 2032 catastrophe is no longer a threat to humanity –
That is not exactly what I said. I said, in 2018, that I had found the means to avoid the 2032 catastrophe in 2022 –
And that the timeline between 2018 and 2022 must not –
Must not be tempered with. Exactly. This pandemic is, presumably, part of the timeline that leads away from the 2032 catastrophe. I will not, under any circumstances, attempt to manipulate this timeline.
So COVID-19 is actually the thing that prevents –
No. no. that’s very simplistic. Things are far more complex. You have to try to understand. The vaccine mustn’t be found until March 2022.
Will you… did you prevent it from being found earlier?
I can’t answer that.
Oh… well, it’s… surely, preventing the 2032 catastrophe…
Is the most important thing. Yes. So you see, going back to the 80’s, visiting poor Roger in the institution in the 90’s, or seeing Pyotr every once in a while, are the best, safest lines of action for the time being.
That’s… everything sounds insane right now.
That’s the life of a Time Traveller. We have to cherish our present time, no matter how bleak it may seem. Sometimes what appears to be the end of the world, is what keeps the world going. Sometimes listening to Pyotr’s Romeo and Juliet is the most reasonable thing to do.
So you’re seeing Tchaikovsky often now?
Every once in a while. You see, my timeline is so involved in the crucial events of 2018-2022, that I cannot introduce radical present-time changes to my life. Everything must evolve in its current phase. It’s better my relationships remain outside the present. It’s complex.
It seems so.
That’s still a very weak excuse for hooking up with Tchaikovsky…
Well, maybe from your point of view. Things will continue to unravel, things I truly cannot speak of.
Alright. Just don’t give him the virus. That would be… bad.
Don’t worry. I presume you’ve gathered by now that I have taken the vaccine for the virus already, in 2022.
Well… we congratulate you.
Do you… have a sample of the vaccine right now, in our present?
No. of course not.
Well, we congratulate you here and now. Stay safe.
You too. And cherish your present time.