Film Noir Persona Tells the Tale of Ronnie Kay

FNP tells of the Icelandic-Hawaiian Mafia and the killing of the Sleek Cat Ronnie Kay  

Film Noir Persona, welcome back to The Sewers! We congratulate you here and now.

Don’t congratulate me.


I’m in deep shit. I’ve hit rock bottom. The lowest of the low.

I hear you’re not doing so well.

Lemmie tell ya something, toots, this world ain’t cut out for dreamers and believers. You let loose for one second, and you’re eaten by the rats and the wolves. Yeah they chew you and spit you out like a man ordering an apple pie with a nail in it at a diner. At 2 AM on a Friday. Drunk out of coherence and lonely like a bride left at the altar with a sudden hunger for sugar and conversation.

Are you describing something or is this still an analogy for whatever that was?

Both. Get the subtlety, goddamnit. That’s the feeling of hitting rock bottom. Yeah I should have known better.

So Leah

She bailed on me, yeah. Did you see it coming? I know I did.

You did?

Sure did. Women are a curse. I knew that.

Is your mother a curse?

Hey watch it, goddamnit. It all started when we – Leah and I – decided we’re gonna get Ronnie Kay, the Sleek Cat who shot her brother dead –

Yes, that we know. Last time you were here, you told us about Viviane L’Estrange.

Yeah, that vixen of a woman. Leah and I, and Michelle, my Wesson, we were making our moves from motels at that point, we had our eyes and ears on the target, and we had our eyes and hands on eachother, and we had this hell of a city by the neck, or so we thought. Or so I thought. The Icelandic-Hawaiian Mafia was closing in on me, and I told Leah, listen, baby, this is a man’s job and you’ve done enough. Pulling the trigger is not for those beautiful soft hands of yours. Lemmie take it from here. but she wouldn’t have it. She got it in her head that she’s gonna be the one to shoot Ronnie Kay. She wouldn’t let it go. She said the L’Estrange widow trusts her, she said she had less of chance getting caught, she said the Sleek Cats are gonna be on my tail for a long time now and I can’t make a move. And lemmie tell you, she made sense. But I wouldn’t have it.


Coz once you pull that trigger, toots, you’re never the same, yeah. something changes in your sleep, something changes in your morning. And it don’t matter that you had to pull that trigger.

Are you getting all religious again?

No, goddamnit. I’m speaking the plain truth. And Leah… there were some ugly fights, yeah. there’s so much that is beautiful between a man and a woman, but lemmie tell ya, once it gets ugly, it’s gets ugly.

So what happened?

What happened is that three weeks ago I woke up without my lover and without my Michelle. My only companion in that stinkin’ hole of a motel was a dozen cockroaches in my sheets. Leah took off. It was an important day for the Sleek Cats. LE’strange’s granddaughter had a baby, they were going to the Stinkin’ Heart Church or something near Arthur Avenue. By then we knew where Kay’s barber is, where his tailor lives, where he gets his coffee, where and when he shits. We had him mapped out like a virgin teenage boy looking at a magazine –

What –

We knew where he was going to be that morning, is what I’m saying. And I told Leah, we don’t mess with the Sleek Cats until after they finish their family business. It’s not a good time. But the dame disappeared. Haven’t seen her since, in case you wondered. She let him have that morning, she’s not stupid. But she shot him dead that evening at his door step. I’m partially off the hook as far as the Sleek Cats are concerned, coz they had me watched that evening, like every goddamned evening.

Where’s Leah now?

She’s out there acting business as usual.

Well expect for you.  


Maybe she’s not contacting you because it’s too dangerous. For the both of you.

Nah that’s not what it is. that dame needed me for as long as she needed me. Now it’s done. If she keeps a straight face long enough, I’ll be off the hook. Both of us will.

Right, so you did it.

She did it.

Why did she come to you in the first place then? If she could have done it herself?

I’ll tell ya why. She didn’t know she could do it herself in the beginning. The idea grew on her. And once it did she got her full revenge. She killed the man who killed her brother, and she showed the man who should have done that years ago that he’s a goddamned coward.

She is a smart dame.

Right now she can’t afford not to be. We had good times, Leah and I. I wish her not to have her brain spilled on a wall in an alley somewhere.

So sweet. So what’s next for you? And the Beige Boiler?

My only friend, the Beige Boiler. Now that my Michelle is gone. Gonna get myself back on my feet. This isn’t the first time I’ve hit rock bottom, sweetcheeks.

We wish you all the best.

Save your wishes for your man, toots. I ain’t nobody’s man right now.

Right. alright. Well we thank you and congratulate you.

Don’t congratulate me.

More Info and Alterview with Film Noir Persona

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