Second Alterview with Time Travelling Persona, where the complex threefold plan unveils and Mrs. Chaired turns up to be rather shrewish 

Greetings, Time Traveller, welcome back. We congratulate you here and now.

Thank you, good to be back, it’s always good to be back, from whenever you are.

How have you been?

Good, good. I did go to see my teacher.

Mrs. Chaired that is.

Right.

Pray tell us all about it.

Well I went to her school. You know she didn’t change her surname when she married. She’s Chaired today and she was Chaired then. I didn’t think she was like that. I didn’t think she’d keep her surname. It says something about a woman, does it?

What does it say?

Well I don’t know. It says she’s like – she knows who she is. This immediately strengthened my assumption that she wasn’t a reject child.

Most people know who they are only later in life, if ever. We know this here in The Sewers. We only begin to know ourselves once we begin to know our Alters.

Oh, could you just… for once, give it a rest with your Alterness speeches –

Excuse me?

I’m sorry, I’m just trying to tell a story and you’re –

Are you angry? What angered you?

I’m not angry, I’m just –

She wasn’t a reject, was she?

She wasn’t –

And you were, weren’t you?

I –

There’s something about you, Time Traveller, that seeks revenge, isn’t there?

I think –

You’re just furious, you are, and with that pocket watch on your neck you could –

I could only amend wrongs –

And avenge.

What? No. I’m – what’s all this?

I went through our previous alterview. The Mr. Cunningham story? Bullshit. That’s not what you’re set out to do. That’s not what Time Travellers do. No Alter could really thrive on things like that. You’re just preparing the grounds for some vile revenge.  

I can assure you I’m not. Who can I avenge? Myself? I can only amend what I know and what I truly know, since I’ve become a Time Traveller, is myself, just like you said. I will not avenge myself.

Maybe you will.

I won’t.

Bet you will.

I won’t.

You so will.

I so won’t.

Right.

What’s wrong with you today? Maybe you’re in a mood and that’s okay but don’t offend my Persona. I mean there’s a Protocol. I just want to tell the story of my quest to my teacher’s school.

Right. Pray tell then.

Is there something I can amend for you?

Of course not. Thanks for asking though.

You’re welcome. I meant it by the way. If there’s something I can amend for you I could at least try. Well anyway, my school teacher, Mrs. Chaired, she never liked me. Even as a boy I could feel it. There were several times when she tried to put me down, but I didn’t let her. I didn’t talk back of course, but I didn’t let her really get to me. I always had this secret world inside my head, more like a secret corner in the back of my head where no one could reach me. But anyway she did try.   

Are you mad at her for this?

I hold no grudges, but I do remember it. I mean you know how someone says something to you that is not at all offensive, that is totally nice and yet – you see it in their eyes and you hear it in their tone that they’re trying to pick on you and to put you down? It was like that. She just didn’t like me.

It seems to have had quite an impact on you.

No, I don’t think about it often. I only remember it since I talked with my mates about it and went on to see her in 1981. I dressed up like a teacher, I mean I wore casual but with a tie and nice trousers, and I had to get proper shoes for it cos I knew my sneakers won’t be acceptable in 1981. It took me a while to find her classroom, but I couldn’t really get inside cos then there would have been too many questions as to who I was and what I was doing there. So I saw her in the hall, coming out of class. She had three girls laughing with her, so surely she’s no reject. Anyway, she saw me and really looked me in the eyes and it creeped me out for a second. And it was a really long second. She really looked at me, right? That was the first recess. It was a nice day, not too cold – I planned it like that so I could see if she’s playing in the yard with other kids.

Didn’t anyone notice you there, staring at little girls?

No, no, I played it cool. I had some papers I kept looking at. The most natural thing would be to look busy with my cell, but that, you know, in 1981, would get quite a bit of attention! Heh! Anyway, on third recess, again, I saw her coming out of the classroom with the same three girls, her friends, and again, she gave me that look, you know – creepy. And then she looked straight into my eyes and said: ‘Sir?’ and I said ‘yes?’ – it was creepy – and she said: ‘you have a really nice tie’. And then all four of them just started laughing and ran away.

Oh, no.

Yeah! It was so Mrs. Chaired! It was so the same tone and the same look and saying really nothing bad but being totally vicious about it!

What a bitch!

Hey, you said it, I didn’t say it. I wouldn’t say it. But let me tell you, that tie was in fact ridiculous, I don’t wear ties normally. It did look funny on me, I have to say.

Still. Didn’t you just want to trip her in the hall? By accident, you know. And then you’d say ‘oh, I’m so, so sorry’, with that same tone and with that same look.

Heh! No, come on. She was just a little girl. And the tie was awful, truly awful, I swear. I wish I could go back in time to that same day and just put on a different tie, but that’s too much of an overload on the past, I think.

You not serious, are you? That little bitch would make fun of any tie!

Would she? I don’t know. We’ll never find out I guess. It’s done.

Maybe your entire memory of her is based on this event, maybe subconsciously she remembered you as the man with the funny tie from her school, and her entire conduct with you as her student was based on this memory.

That’s good time travelling thinking, but it’s unlikely, I think. Well, I need to think about it. Cos I remembered her picking on me before I went back to 1981, and it’s actually documented in our previous interview –

Alterview –

So it’s not possible that her conduct with me as her student was in fact influenced by my going back to 1981.

But then again, your Alter-history, and the way you choose to remember yourself as a Persona, may change every time you travel.

Yes, it’s complex. There are a lot of technicalities about my Persona, it seems, I mean – my Persona is in itself about technicalities. I mean I like these technicalities because they seem to organize my world, and I like reflecting the nature of my Persona.

Yeah, you can’t do that now.

Why?

Because you’re currently too person-oriented to be able to do this properly.

But I’m doing it all the time. I have to think about the technicalities and they’re the basis of my Persona, aren’t they? Are you getting upset again? I really don’t mean to upset you.

I’m not upset, I’m just thinking – prior to our alterview today I was thinking whether or not I should ask you again about Lisa. Until the very last moment I wasn’t sure. But now that you’ve brought up the technicalities it made me rethink the entire story: perhaps your interest in technicalities is just another way of keeping yourself safe from actually wanting and trying to change the past.

Oh. Well. It’s uhm – look, I did think about it myself actually. I did. And I thought about it through technicalities. Cos Lisa was a girl I loved ten years ago, in high school, and I’m pretty much over it by now. But when I was 21 and studying astronomy – I was top of my class in the first year by the way – I was really into this other girl, Amy. Look, it’s complex. There are a lot of technicalities.

Alright.

I’m all over the thing with Lisa. But I think I could never really get it with Amy cos I never dared to with Lisa. So I thought I’d go back to high school and make myself talk to Lisa, just so I could, a few years later, make it with Amy.

I see, but what if Lisa rejects you and the whole story become awful?

That’s what I thought at first. But then I thought: no matter what happens, just trying it with Lisa would make it possible for me, later on in life, to try it with Amy.

But why not just come on to Amy?

See, that’s where it gets complex and technical. I don’t want my future-past relationship with Amy to be based on my time travelling, cos then it wouldn’t be fair and honest, and I want to experience an honest relationship before I get involved with Clair.

What? Who the fuck Clair now?

Why are you swearing? Clair is the girl I’m currently in love with. She works in the book shop near the café. She’s friends with The Shift Manager by the way. So you see, it’s a threefold plan and there are a lot of technicalities.

You’re cunning, Time Traveller.

Heh! Yeah!

So you’re going back to high school to try it with Lisa, and then to the present, to see if you’ve had a relationship with Amy, which would enable you to be with Clair.

Yeah, yeah, it’s complex.

But what if you and Amy stay together?

Oh, no, no, that wouldn’t happen.

How can you be sure?

She found out she was gay when we finished our degree. I mean she was dating guys during that period, and then on the end of the fourth year she said she’s a lesbian.

Maybe she’s bisexual.

I don’t know.

Alright, let’s say she’s not bisexual. Do you want your future-past self to be in a relationship with a woman who finds out she’s gay? How would that affect your ego?

Oh it’s alright, I accept all people, and as an Alter, I surely accept all people’s self-discoveries.

Nice.

Thanks. Will you follow up on my next time travel?

Of course! How could we not. When will you travel back to high school?

In about two weeks or so. I’m pretty busy and time travelling is more tiring than you’d think.

I see. Well we’re eager to hear for you again.

Great. So that’s it? Was it a good alterview?

It was exquisite.

Oh, great, thanks! And you know… ‘when you see me again, it won’t be me’. Heh!

Right! Twin Peaks.

Yeah! Heh!  

We thank you, Time Traveller, for this alterview, and we congratulate you.

Thank you, really! Be safe and cherish your present time.