The Just Protester 1^st alterview, where a discussion about the film Mallrats goes entirely wrong and leads Trevor to call the U.P a fascist  

Trevor, the Just Protester, I welcome and congratulate you for joining us here in The Sewers.

Hi, thanks for having me here.

Funny story about how you got here.

Yeah, totally. I wanted to start a protest blog called the sewers, describing all the shit that’s going on in the world. But when I tried to register the domain, I saw it was already in use.

You already have several blogs though, don’t you?

Yeah, I’m involved in like eight blogs, as a part of a bloggers community, friends and comrades. We get about 30k hits a day. Five days after November 8^th last year, we got almost 60k hits in something like 12 hours. That’s the highest we got so far. Can’t believe it’s been like a year almost.

Since Trump winning the election.

For sure. A friend and I wrote a killer post about what the next four year are gonna be like. I was also co-writing an article predicting Trump’s economic policy.

We’d love to hear all about it, but before that, have you familiarized yourself with our protocol?

For sure. I saw I needed a Safe Word. Mine will be Christ.

Why’s that?

Coz I don’t use this word. I’m an atheist. I sometimes say OMG or even Jesus, but I’ll never go as far as saying Christ. So if I say Christ – starting now – you should know that something went like really wrong.

Alright.

And your word is Butterfly, right?

Yes. Thanks for making sure. Very considerate of you.

For sure. Anyway, what I co-wrote about Trump’s economic policy was pretty much spot on – for the moment being. It’s hard to predict what happens next. People even say our article was too optimistic, coz look at the men he surrounded himself with. Most of them don’t even know what working is. It’s seriously fucked up.

I assume you were an activist before the 2016 election.

For sure. I’ve always questioned the system. Like even as a boy in school. I was always asking myself – why are things the way they are, you know? Like there was a huge banner in my school, I remember it from the 5^th of 6^th grade, it said something like: “when you encounter difficulty, don’t ask why, ask why not”. And I was like: what the fuck does that mean?

What does it mean?

I think it was like some motivational shit. Like don’t ask why shit happens to you –

Ask why it doesn’t happen to you?

Fuck, I don’t know, maybe. But I think it was more like, don’t bitch about it, just say to yourself that you can overcome it, and like bring it on, why not.

And this banner inspired you or – ?

Shit no. I was looking at it and thinking like, yeah right, tell that to people in Rwanda or in Bosnia.

What did you know about Rwanda or Bosnia when you were in the 6^th grade?

I heard stuff that things were bad there. What I mean to say is that I remember this banner coz every day I walked past it I thought to myself that it’s bullshit. I was always really aware of the amount of bullshit around me. I was always anti-consumerism even before I knew what consumerism is. I mean the place where I hung up with friends as a teenager was the mall, but we never bought anything. We used to go to the deserted roof floor and smoke there and throw the cigarette butts at the lame consumerist zombies below us –

You punk –

For sure, yeah. But then in 2006 some guy from my school killed himself by jumping from the mall’s roof. That’s when they closed the roof floor. And anyway we didn’t wanna go there anymore.

Shit. Were you friends with this guy?

Not really, but I knew who he was. It sucked. And the talks the teachers gave us afterwards sucked even harder.

How come?

Coz they were like, you need to seek the help of an adult when you’re in distress and shit like that.

Shouldn’t this guy have asked for help?

Yeah, for sure.

So?

I mean it was fucking hypocritical. They wanted to kick him out. He was really messed up with drugs and on the days he did show up they sent him home. They were just dying for him to drop out. No one tried to help him, they just wanted him to fuck off. And then they gave us shit and tears and candles about him.

It’s kinda like pump up the volume with a really bad ending.

Awesome soundtrack, totally. “Hello dad? I’m in jail!” awesome. For sure. I also liked mallrats.

The Kevin Smith movie? Never liked it.

Are you kidding? Why? It’s awesome. I think the mall in this movie is like a micro cosmos –

It’s a movie about loser wankers.

What?!

I mean jerks. Loser jerk offs.

You just didn’t get it. It’s entertainment. It’s the culture industry, for sure. But there’s another way of interpreting this movie. The mall is like a micro-cosmos, a capitalist one of course, but the movie is about the hoboes of this cosmos, those who interrupt the capitalist order, the bandits –

You mean the jerks –

Now the mall – as a capitalist micro cosmos – is governed by police and capital. If you don’t shop or if you interrupt the order, you get arrested –

Please –

So when they go to a place where there’s no police – the flea market –

You’re so embarrassing yourself right now –

Would you shut the fuck up for one second –

What would The Anarchist Philosopher have to say about this super lame attempt to –

I don’t give a shit about The Anarchist –

Is that really the way you choose to present yourself as The Just Protester? I mean come on!

What the fuck is your problem?

This movie is a prime example of culture industry implementing the most hardcore capitalist views on life, and just coz it’s wrapped in what people like you are conditioned to think of as cool –

Hey, I watched when I was fucking 10 –

So what the fuck?

And you bring up pump up the volume, it’s just two fucking movies I really liked and I still like them today coz I liked them back then, and because I fucking like them I found a new fucking way of looking at them. Fuck.

Right.

Whatever, I mean some people are just not open to hear opinions other than their own. It’s just one of the signs of a democracy in decline, of fascism.

You calling me a fascist?!

Well for a second there you kinda were a fascist –

Excuse me, I’m the U.P, and I’m warning you –

More like the U.F –

If you ever call me fascist –

The U.F.F. The Ultra Fucking Fascist –

*** Alterview terminated abruptly ***

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